Dealing with Obstacles, Setbacks, Failures, and Three-Putts

Through the 1960s when I was in high school and college, I never had any money and I didn’t have a car. My main modus transportandi was hitchhiking. By my estimates, I traveled the equivalent of around the Earth’s Equator merely by using my thumb.

My most memorable hitchhiking jaunt took place in 1968 when my friend John and I hitched from San Diego, California to Vancouver, British Columbia to Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia to Bar Harbor, Maine to North Conway, New Hampshire to my parents’ home in Moorestown, New Jersey.

For the record, that particular trip wasn’t all hitching, however. In Port Arthur, Ontario, because there was a huge backlog of hitchhikers clogging up on the Trans-Canadian Highway (some had been stranded there for as much as two weeks), we went to the freight yards, took a crash course in alternate means of transport from a drunk French-speaking hobo, and hopped a freight train to Toronto – without question 18 of the most miserably cold, windy, filthy, noisy, boring, treacherous, and mercilessly uncomfortable (trying to sleep on a narrow, bouncy corrugated steel flat car) hours of my life.

When we finally arrived in Toronto, covered in soot and feeling only pain, we learned of a bus manufacturer that needed brand new school buses delivered to various parts of Canada. We therefore had to backtrack 100 miles west to Woodstock, Ontario (via hitchhiking of course) to get our bus. It was to be delivered to Sidney, Nova Scotia, 1500 miles away and a mere 40 miles from our desired destination.

Needless to say, L’Autobus Libre (The Free Bus) picked up EVERY SINGLE HITCHHIKER on the way – 63 in total.

But I digressed.

That was then. If, however, today, my 17-year old son told me he wanted to hitchhike somewhere, even before I could have the luxury of a heart attack to dissuade him, my wife would have called out the United States Marines and slapped leg irons on the poor kid, all the while berating me for filling my son’s head with vagabond nonsense.

But let us, for a moment, return to those relatively carefree days of yesteryear. While spending an inordinate slab of my youth on the side of the road going hither and yon, I developed a kind of hitchhiker’s philosophy. This noble set of insights maintained that Mother Nature loves free spirits and nothing could be freer in spirit than the glorious hitchhiker. Nature, of course, would look out for her fanciful sprites (us free spirits) and accordingly she would never leave us stranded anywhere. Sometimes it may take a little coordination and orchestration on her part to make sure the sequence of rides would unfold in perfect synchrony to get us where we wanted to go but she always got us there. As proof, here I am, right where I want to be.

John and I would take turns hitching so the other guy could read or rest or groove. John wasn’t the archetypal Peace-Love-Hippy that I was. He was more from the Off-the-Pig School of Counter-Cultural Thought.

Anyway, John used to get supremely angry when cars would not stop and he’d curse them as they passed. I, on the other hand, had developed a highly successful hitching technique. I’d open my heart and love each car and its occupants no matter if they passed us by or not. With this technique I scored most of our rides. I tried to teach John my technique but he preferred his bile. 

If ever we got stuck at some place, instead of getting impatient, I always felt that there was something in that place that Nature wanted me to learn or appreciate or someone she wanted me to meet before she would get us our ride out. That being the case, I never felt that we were in danger of being stranded. I’d look for the beauty or the lesson of that place. It could be just enjoying a dandelion. Whenever I found something or learned something special about that place, Nature would send us a chariot and off we’d go.

I bring up that silly story because that is how I go about my daily life even today. To me there is no such thing as an obstacle or a setback or a failure. Those things are just Nature’s traffic signs letting me know that there is something right there and then that is important to be learned or appreciated before the next step can be taken.

Sometimes, by taking the time to look, a greater success can be found in a failure than if you actually achieved that which you were originally aiming at. You just have to stop and check out the so-called failure from a different angle.

The Free Bus. What a great experience. I guess Nature saw too many of her glorious free spirits getting delayed so she organized a magical solution. What a privilege it was to help her.

www.lazyway.net

Comments

[noah]

Do you think current culture is less risk prone and more about following the path of conformity? I can't even imagine that many people hitch hiking anymore. When/why did that change happen?

[Molly]

Early on, I would have just stayed put. Hitching was such a potential "danger". Good heavens, the thought of staying put is scarier now than anything life could through at me.

Have a great day, Molly

[Marco]

Indeed the days of yesteryear. I grew up reading about people hitchiking through Europe. By the time I was old enough to do it, it was a big no no, of course.

But you have a very interesting point. You can look at setback with two types of glasses. Either good (lesson) or bad (setback). I suspect, either way one looks at them, one is correct.

Cheers

[vijima venkat]

I sometimes wonder whether all of us are programmed only to succeed because I understand that my failures are also the results of my choices. so am I not all the time successful whether the outcome is "success" or "failure"?

[tokidoki]

Fred, this is a bit off-topic, but I'd like to know: What's your take on Motivation? How do you Motivate yourself? I'm a creative, healthy person but I'm starting to find it harder and harder each day to motivate myself to DO stuff.

Thx, T

[Francis]

I really enjoyed reading this, makes me crave for a bit more adventure in my life.
Dang I wish I knew how to tell stories like this.

[Andre in LA]

Again, I see this as an expansion of the "responsibility horizon."

"I am responsible for generating my experience."

Even when other people's will is involved, even when operating with insufficient information (in the unknown), even when I have no control.

This could be seen as mindf**king or as a powerful way to lead one's life, depending on your viewpoint.

In my case, it is how I choose to live -- a choice which results in feeling the vibrance of each moment, being tuned in to my truth, getting more joy and pleasure from the littlest things.

Cheers
- Andre

[Ray]

This is a great post about keeping a positive attitude towards life despite all the problems. It really is all about how we choose to respond.

[Robin]

This Guy is a genius!
Same league up there with Brian Tracy and the other gurus.