The Lazy Way to Success

Trip, Andy Kaufman, and Destination Imagination

I recently returned from a grueling trip to Chicago. It is good to be back in my hammock and interacting with smiling people again.

Last night my wife and I went to a local fundraising event that screened some home movies featuring Andy Kaufman. These movies showed Andy before his Taxi fame and he was hilarious. I laughed myself silly. His timing was impeccable. He delivered his ridiculous shtick with convincing sincerity but every now and then you'd catch a mischievous twinkle.

I was introduced to Andy in the mid-1970s. We were both teachers of Transcendental Meditation attending a TM conference in New York state. At the talent show at the end of the conference, he entertained us for hours and had us howling with laughter.

Andy loved ice cream (chocolate) and he visited my ice cream store frequently.  One day, he consented to being photographed eating my ice cream. (This took place about a year after he became a regular on Taxi.) The pictures would have been priceless, if only the photographer had remembered to put film in the camera.

On Tuesday, my wife and I will be accompanying my son to Knoxville, Tennessee where he will compete in the Global Finals of Destination Imagination. DI is a team-oriented,  problem-solving competition. I'm sure when I return, I will be brimming with stories about the experience.

Since I won't be posting next week, it is okay for you to take the week off too.

For My Next Trick

Inspired and stunned by the weekend's sports news that golf pro Sergio Garcia incomprehensibly blew a 6-stroke lead going into the final round of the Wachovia Classic Championship, I thought I'd write another book. I bounced the idea off a friend. The premise is that the mind can, on one hand, be an enormous asset in an athletic performance and, on the other, interfer with a performance and screw things up no matter how hard you practiced.  I told my friend that I wanted to interview top athletes to find out the ways they get their minds right.

If you have been a regular reader, you know that back in February I wrote about athletic performance and the Zone.  (Check out February's archives for the 14th, 15th, 17th and 28th.)

My friend loved the idea but said the problem was getting access to the athletes. I had to agree and felt deflated. However, that evening (the night before the Day of Lasting Achievements) I made a list of all the things I wanted to pursue on May 10 in order to take maximum advantage of that auspicious day. During that list-making exercise, I happened to think of three or four of my friends that had some connection with professional  athletes.

When Akshaya Tritiya (The Day of Lasting Achievements) dawned I called some and emailed the others. Miraculously, a book customer called (out of the blue) to order a bunch of my books to give out as gifts. It turned out he was the son of a majorly famous (and now quite old) tennis pro. He loved the idea and said he'd open some doors for me. The few friends I contacted sprang into action too. Now I have some phone numbers (even cell numbers) for a couple of very cool superstars. Hopefully one thing will lead to another.

I'm stoked to the gills. We'll see how it unfolds. I'll keep you all up to date if anything worth reporting takes place. Right now, even at age 59, I'm feeling like a little kid again. I'm going to ask some questions that I always wanted to know from these hugely accomplished athletes and I can't wait.

P.S. Of course, if any of you could introduce me to a great athlete (or if you are a great athlete), please get in touch with me.

www.lazyway.net

Book Review

In the  event you do not read the popular blog  Lifehacker, I would like to point out that its editor gave my book a strong review.

Addendum to A Harrowing Tale

Apropos one of my posts  from last week, two flash movies have been brought to my attention -- StoreWars and The Meatrix. I think you will find each one compelling and amusing (in a horrifying kind of way). They are to be enjoyed with organic popcorn only.

Day of Lasting Achievements

According to Jyotish, the ancient Indian astrology, today is the most auspicious day of 2005. It is called Akshaya Tritiya, which is Sanskrit for the 'Day of Lasting Achievements.' Akshaya Tritiya occurs when the sun and the moon are both exalted and this only happens one day a year. Doing things on this day supposedly produces lasting achievements. It is especially propitious to start things today.

So, dear readers, go forth; start projects; plant seeds literally and figuratively; do the things you hope will turn out great. Ancient Indian sages have declared that today you have the blessings of the stars.

 

A Harrowing Tale

I went to a meeting last night, wishing I didn’t have to. It was for people who opposed the construction of hog confinement facilities within smelling distance of their homes.

I live in Iowa – the Pig Capital of the World. It used to be that farmers would raise their hogs outside in a pen. Not any more.

Today, huge windowless animal confinement buildings with grate flooring are constructed over cement “lagoons.” The operators pack thousands of pigs in these buildings. The pigs then spend their entire lives standing on the grate that separates them from millions of gallons of accumulated hog waste. If it weren’t for huge exhaust fans, the air in these buildings would be so toxic that the pigs would die within 30 minutes. Even still the lungs of these pigs at slaughter indicate that they were going to die soon anyway. Chickens, by the way, are raised under similarly unconscionable conditions. And if you have ever driven past one of those Nebraska or Colorado feed lots for steers, you know that bus fumes are less nauseating than that smell.

There are innumerable environmental, ethical, economic, health-related, and spiritual reasons to oppose the construction of these things. But just from the aesthetic point of view, the stench they emit is unbearable. But a pig, besides living in the stress of these crowded conditions, breathes that stench every second of his life which means that that very stench gets deeply infused into every fiber of a pig’s body. Those who eat an animal raised under these conditions are essentially eating highly concentrated pig flatulence among other hellish influences.

Who do we blame?

We could blame agribusiness. They are driven by greed and don’t care one whit about the environment or nearby residents.

We could blame the farmer who is obviously impoverished both financially and intellectually. He selfishly thinks he is getting a great deal just allowing one of these corporations to fund, construct, and supply the operation on his land and buy back the pigs when they are grown. He doesn’t mind polluting the land and stinking up the neighborhood for a few dollars.

We could blame the legislature. They have essentially accepted bribes from agribusiness under the guise of campaign financing and then made laws allowing such abominations to exist. Some of these lawmakers even have relatives in the business.

The real culprit, however, is the consumer. He wants food that is cheap to buy but he has no clue how expensive that cheap food is to his health or to the environment. If the demand is there, then there will always be businessmen who will find ways to supply that demand.

The consumer needs to be educated. It is he that needs to have his consciousness raised. Until then, save your health, save your nose, and save your environment. Buy free-range. Eat organic.

The Ice Cream Story: My Recipe

Installment #10

Here’s the scoop. Really.

The basis for ice cream is called the mix – a combination of cream (butter fat), milk, milk solids (non-fat dried milk), sugar, and something to stabilize and emulsify the concoction. It is then pasteurized and homogenized.

Needless to say, our mix was prepared in huge volumes and in a tightly controlled process. In an attempt to give you an idea, I stepped my recipe down using normal ingredients that one would find in a grocery/health food store and created a great recipe for homemade ice cream using an ordinary household ice cream maker. I thought I would offer his recipe as a bonus to  anyone who buys my book at its web site.

(If you are interested in receiving the recipe, just type in the words “ice cream” when the order page asks how you learned about this book.)

A couple of caveats:

1. Because dairy products vary from manufacturer to manufacturer, I did my best to pick a middle ground.

2. This ice cream will not store well because it won’t be stabilized. In addition, your refrigerator probably does not have a freezer that is cold enough to disallow ice crystals from getting too big thereby giving the ice cream a coarse mouth feel.

3. None of that will matter, however, because you and your family and friends will eat the whole thing in one sitting. Ice cream is vastly better in its soft state. That’s because it doesn’t freeze the taste buds in your tongue with the first lick.

4. In all fairness to me, I am making this recipe available for your own enjoyment. It would not be right to disseminate it via Xerox or e-mail or Internet postings or however. We’ll make it an honor thing.

5. There will be a politicized angle contained in my recipe as I am intensely pro-organic and strongly anti-genetic engineering and rGBH (recombinant bovine growth hormone). If you disagree with me, you could substitute non-organic products and still get a good result, albeit a non-socially responsible one from the tree-hugger's point of view.

6. The ice cream will be very rich! It will have a 16% butterfat content and be 40% solids. YUM!

As for credentials: my ice cream was declared the best in America by People Magazine and Playboy. It was the first packaged ice cream sold through Bloomingdales in New York City. It was served to first class passengers on United Airlines. It was served at the White House. It was requested by the US Olympic Basketball Team in 1984 (Michael Jordan and Pat Ewing) and 1988 (David Robinson). In 1988, a few Dairy Science professors at the University of Wisconsin (arguably the best dairy science school in the world) evaluated vanilla and chocolate ice creams from 70 brands throughout the United States. They did a thorough appraisal, judging for taste, texture, chemistry, color, bacteria, etc. and they deducted points for any defect. They only awarded two perfect scores. My vanilla won one of those perfect scores. My chocolate won the other.

Bon appétit.

www.lazyway.net